Prayerfully know and overcome your opposition.
Example #1
I was teaching the Latter-day Saint Church Gospel Doctrine class in my ward. The topic involved spiritual gifts listed in The New Testament, The Book of Mormon, and The Doctrine & Covenants. I emphasized the idea that Church members, regardless of gender, could ask for and acquire these gifts. A man attending the class (who was in an authoritative Church position in the ward) challenged and chastised me. The more I explained my position, the more confrontational he became—in front of everyone in the class. Not wanting to cause a scene, I gave him the last word. After class, I tried to reconcile with him. His response and demeanor escalated. Clearly, I wasn’t going to change his mind, so I let it go.
Still, I was frustrated by his close-mindedness, and what I felt to be his disrespect toward me as a woman. And I still hoped to change his mind—especially because of his influential and authoritative church position. So, I called upon God. Surely, He could change this man’s mind. Praying for divine intervention, I humbly asked God for three specific things:
- Open this man’s heart and mind regarding spiritual gifts and individual Church members’ (particularly women’s) abilities to attain and exercise them.
- Open this man’s heart and mind toward me, my intentions, my spirituality, and my abilities.
- Show me specific evidence that this man’s mind and attitude toward me had changed.
I knew these changes would happen according to the Lord’s will and my faith.
God delivered. He always does. The very next Sunday during fast and testimony meeting, this brother bore his testimony about spiritual gifts. He explained how he had spent the last week reading about them and felt the Spirit impress upon him the reality and power of spiritual gifts and their availability to all Church members. Looking in my direction, he said, “I know there are people in this room who have had sacred experiences using these gifts.” As he spoke, I felt the Spirit. I knew the Lord had intervened in my behalf. Peace and ratitude filled my heart. From then on, this brother treated me with deference and respect.
Example #2
I was driving my brand new car, and a guy rear-ended me at a stoplight. Cursing at me, he drove off. Having left my cellphone at home, I was helpless—-and furious. I wanted this guy to be accountable for what he did to my car and to me. I got home and immediately asked God to intervene. I humbly asked Him for the following:
- I wanted this guy brought to justice. I knew God could do this.
- I wanted evidence or proof when this guy was caught by police.
- I would submit to God’s will regarding the outcome of this situation.
A few days later, a cop showed up at my door. A witness had seen the hit and run. Using his cellphone, the witness took a photo of the man’s license plate and called the cops. The bad guy was apprehended. The cop showed me a photo of the bad guy, and I was able to identify him. The next morning, I told an LDS colleague about this experience. He said, “That was a true blessing that a witness took action!” My colleague repeated, “What a blessing!” Indeed. A blessing created by divine intervention because of my direct request.
Example #3
I was having difficulties with a friend. Our friendship had deteriorated to the point where we hadn’t spoken to each other for many months. Rightly or wrongly, I wrote my friend a letter regarding our prolonged silence. At the very least, I desired some sort of closure or resolution to our friendship. Before I mailed the letter, I prayed and asked God to show me the consequence or outcome of my decision in contacting her. Specifically, I wanted to know my friend’s response, and what I could expect from her in the future. The Lord obliged my request. Impressions and information came into my mind. Thus, according to my own “eye of faith,” I felt confident regarding this future sequence of events:
- My friend would not respond to my letter for about a year. The two of us would have absolutely no communication with each other during this time frame.
- Her eventual response would be a letter via “snail mail.”
- I knew what she would say to me in her future letter. I knew what her main points and reasoning would be.
- I knew what was left of our friendship would not recover and thus come to a permanent end. (And I shed some tears knowing this.)
Using the above information, I wrote a rough draft response letter (to my friend’s future letter) and tucked it away for when the time came to use it. Eleven months later, my friend’s letter arrived in my mailbox. Her letter contained all of the elements that had been previously revealed to me. So, I retrieved my response letter, made a few edits, and mailed the final draft to my friend. Despite my preparedness, the whole situation was still painfully difficult for me. When my daughter saw my friend’s letter on the kitchen counter, she exclaimed in surprise, “Mom, it happened—just like you said it would.”
Since then, I have taken the same prayerful approach when encountering difficulties in friendships and/or other relationships. I still feel some anxiety when acting upon the promptings I receive, but relief and inner peace always replace my anxious feelings. I also feel peace knowing that divine guidance is available—not just for me, but for everyone who takes their concerns and sorrows to God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Even more, when I follow the Lord’s guidance, I don’t have to blindly respond or feel overwhelming emotions in the heat of the moment when engaging with opposition in any form. Not reactively responding to difficult people or difficult situations is personally empowering. Divine help enables us to be proactive, not reactive. The scriptures also promise us that if we ask, the Lord will “give us utterance” and “stop our utterance” when necessary. Think about the ramifications of these divine promises. We can bridle our emotions and respond to opposition with more honesty, grace, dignity, and feel peace—and even love—before, during, and after oppositional encounters.
Know your opposition. Know your enemy.
In my previous post, I used the word “opposition” to define an enemy. Opposition can take many forms. And like it or not, opposition plays a significant and consistent role throughout our lives. We can overcome opposition and experience peace when we call upon God for help and deliverance. The scriptures call this ability “the gift of discernment.” With God’s help we will be victorious. Every single time. And even if the outcome is not what we initially desired, we can still feel the reassuring presence of the Spirit and know that we did everything we could to foster peace by seeking divine guidance. Using the above examples, I’ve framed Christ’s admonition to “pray for your enemies” to an unconventional level or dimension: Pray not just for our enemies, but pray for discernment about our enemies. The ability to spiritually discern our enemies or opposition provides us with extremely valuable information and extraordinary ability. Here are just a few advantages:
- We can anticipate (and thus prepare) for when an enemy might or plans to plot and/or strike against us.
- We can know our enemy’s motives and reasons for opposing or attacking us.
- We can know the strategies our enemy is using or plans to use against us.
- We can learn and understand what we did (if anything) to provoke our enemy and thus change our behavior if need be.
- We can know how to act and what to say when in the presence of our enemy or when faced with opposition.
- We can anticipate where our enemy might be and thus avoid negative interactions.
Obviously, acquiring this type of information and our ability to discern are predicated on the Lord’s willingness to reveal it, our individual faith, and our willingness to use information according to God’s will and only for righteous purposes.
Artist: Charles Sprague
As I said previously, whatever our circumstances, this kind of divine guidance and assistance is very powerful, effective, and personally empowering. I have lived long enough to have consistently experienced God’s help, strength, and discernment when facing opposition from extended family, friends, frenemies, co-workers, students, and strangers. My children, close friends, and family members often ask me to pray with them when faced with some of their own oppositional situations. Consequently, our families can be empowered and protected. Time and again, God delivers—as long my request aligns with His will and my motives are righteous. There are other conditions I’ve had to meet:
- I must specifically ask in faith for the Lord’s intervention.
- My desires for peace must be righteous and align with the Lord’s will and definition of peace.
- I must have faith that He will deliver me according to His will and His time frame.
- I must be willing to say and do according His will—even if it means humbling myself and/or apologizing to those who have hurt me or opposed me.
- Here’s the hardest and scariest part: I must be willing to act on faith by taking action with the information or promptings the Lord has given me. The scriptures tell us that having and/or acting on faith is “not having a perfect knowledge.”
The scriptures promise and also give many examples of God fighting battles for those who love and serve Him.
Proverbs says, “Fret not thyself because of evil men.” I’ve truly come to believe this. There’s another old saying: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Here’s what I do to keep less-than-friendly people at a safe distance; I humbly ask the Lord for the following:
- Power to discern a person who has ill intentions toward me before that person strikes.
- Power to discern manipulative behavior.
- Power to discern when a person is being truthful or dishonest.
- Specific instruction on how to overcome opposition and/or neutralize enemies. I ask the Lord to give me the victory if it be His will.
- Power to know if and when I need to confront a person who is opposing me.
- Specific instruction on what to say or do to this person.
- Soften my heart toward those who oppose me. (This softening often takes time.)
- Soften my enemies’ hearts toward me. (Sometimes, they do; often they don’t.)
I realize this type of prayer is very bold. But Christ tells us, “Ye have not because ye ask not.” In the Book of Mormon, Nephi poignantly writes two chapters revealing his fervent prayers for deliverance from his angry brothers:
My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions. He has confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night time. And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high and angels came down and ministered unto me.”
He further writes:
“Will thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me. O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Will thou make my path straight before me! Will thou not hedge up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
Behold, I Nephi, did cry much unto the Lord my God, because of the anger of my brethren. But behold, their anger did increase against me, insomuch that they did seek to take away my life. Yea, they did murmur against me. And it came to pass that the Lord did warn me, that I, Nephi should depart from them and flee…with all those who would go with me”
(2 Nephi 4, 5).
Talk about a bold prayer. Repeatedly, God gave Nephi the victory over Laman and Lemuel. Later, God also warned Nephi to take his family and to move away and to permanently separate themselves from Laman and Lemuel and their families. And like Nephi, we too, can prayerfully consider cutting off all contact from our enemies—even family members—if we are being abused or if reconciliation is impossible.
Joseph Smith wrote in D&C 127:2:
And as for the perils which I am called to pass through, they seem but a small thing to me, as the envy and wrath of man have been my common lot all the days of my life; and for what cause it seems mysterious, unless I was ordained from before the foundation of the world for some good end, or bad, as you may choose to call it. Judge ye for yourselves. God knoweth all these things, whether it be good or bad. But nevertheless, deep water is what I am wont to swim in. It all has become a second nature to me; and I feel, like Paul, to glory in tribulation; for to this day has the God of my fathers delivered me out of them all, and will deliver me from henceforth; for behold, and lo, I shall triumph over all my enemies, for the Lord God hath spoken it.”
Though Joseph Smith was eventually martyred by his enemies, he still lived with a clear and peaceful conscience—even labeling himself “as a lamb going to the slaughter.” That is a life of true peace. Unless our destiny involves martyrdom, the rest of us have some “breathing room” in terms of our own enemies. Whether an enemy occupies a permanent residency in our lives or not is pretty much a personal decision. But beware! Keeping our enemies “close by” can be costly in terms of our physical and emotional well-being. Surely, a lot of energy (often negative energy) is required to maintain a relationship with an enemy and/or a “frenemy.” What’s more, perennial enemies and frenemies often won’t stop unless or until their opponents (meaning us) stop. (The last sentence sounds obvious, but I spent years in some painful relationships before I figured this out.)
George Bernard Shaw nailed this idea when he said, “I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You both get covered in mud and the pig likes it.” Very true. Surely, we’ve all rolled around in the mud at various times in our lives—we’re human. And, throughout our lives, we will surely play the role of “bad guy” or enemy. Still, people who thrive on drama, control, power, rivalry, and contention enjoy these mud baths or taking a walk on the dark side. (Whether they admit it or not.) Thus, if we find ourselves forever slogging around in the pigpen, something’s wrong—with us. We can choose to climb out of the pigpen. We can choose to hose off and stay clean. In my next post, I’ll write more about this topic.
May our deliverance be nigh,
Julie
