Quit fooling ourselves! Attending rehab for drug and sexual addiction, the young woman approached the church podium to bear her testimony in her Latter-day Saint Utah ward's Sacrament meeting service. She talked honestly and courageously about her continued struggle with addiction. Sadly, someone in the congregation passed a note to this young woman's mother. It read, "How dare you let your daughter get up and say that!" I admired the mother's response: She immediately sent back the note ... VIEW POST
Step One: "The Truth Shall Set You Free"
Do You Have to Feel Wrong In Order to Feel Right?
Thinking right to feel right. Head bowed, he started crying again. Afraid to reveal too much of himself, he spoke carefully. Listening to him, my heart was breaking along with his already broken one. "I never realized life would be so hard, and I'd be so unhappy," he said. (He wasn't even 20, but he talked as if he were an old man.) During the next several months, my husband and I tried to win his trust. And we knew he wanted to trust us. But he couldn't let go---fear and denial held him ... VIEW POST
No Pain, No Gain
Ready to hug a cactus? As a college instructor, my job is to inflict pain on my students---the pain of discipline and hard work. Student responses to pain consistently fall into two basic categories: Those who are willing to submit to the pain and those who resist. The "submitters" graduate with a college degree. The "resisters" drop out. The more a student resists the pain, the lower his or her grade. Paradoxically, students who resist pain create a host of other ... VIEW POST
Hoping Is Better Than Coping
Not feeling good enough? Driving home from church, I tried not to cry. By the time I got home, I was sobbing. Our California Latter-day Saint ward conference theme had emphasized the Church doctrine of attaining perfection. And the analogy the stake presidency had used in their talks was painfully effective: They talked about the 1979 Mt. Erebus plane crash. Because of a 2-degree error in the flight coordinates, the plane crashed into the side of Mt. Erebus killing all 259 passengers and ... VIEW POST
Climbing the Stairway to Heaven Begins with "The Twelve Steps"
"And she's climbing the stairway to heaven;" just starts with the first step. It was my turn to talk."Why are you here, Julie?" asked the group facilitator. I answered, "I am here to help take the stigma out of attending the LDS (Latter-day Saint) Social Services Twelve Step Program for addiction. If people in our stake know that a member of the stake Relief Society presidency (meaning me) embraces the Twelve Steps, then maybe they will see some value in this program for ... VIEW POST
The Healing Power of Genuine Community
Got community? "I feel so relieved after listening to your talk and hearing your experiences." And, "I thought I was the only one who struggled with this. Thank you for sharing your feelings." As a counselor in a California stake Relief Society presidency and as a college instructor, I frequently hear these comments. I am willing to "put myself out there" and expose my weakness and vulnerability because I've come to understand the power of genuine community. (Hence, the reason for this ... VIEW POST
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