Not feeling good enough? Driving home from church, I tried not to cry. By the time I got home, I was sobbing. Our California Latter-day Saint ward conference theme had emphasized the Church doctrine of attaining perfection. And the analogy the stake presidency had used in their talks was painfully effective: They talked about the 1979 Mt. Erebus plane crash. Because of a 2-degree error in the flight coordinates, the plane crashed into the side of Mt. Erebus killing all 259 passengers and ... VIEW POST
Hoping Is Better Than Coping
Climbing the Stairway to Heaven Begins with "The Twelve Steps"
"And she's climbing the stairway to heaven;" just starts with the first step. It was my turn to talk."Why are you here, Julie?" asked the group facilitator. I answered, "I am here to help take the stigma out of attending the LDS (Latter-day Saint) Social Services Twelve Step Program for addiction. If people in our stake know that a member of the stake Relief Society presidency (meaning me) embraces the Twelve Steps, then maybe they will see some value in this program for ... VIEW POST
The Healing Power of Genuine Community
Got community? "I feel so relieved after listening to your talk and hearing your experiences." And, "I thought I was the only one who struggled with this. Thank you for sharing your feelings." As a counselor in a California stake Relief Society presidency and as a college instructor, I frequently hear these comments. I am willing to "put myself out there" and expose my weakness and vulnerability because I've come to understand the power of genuine community. (Hence, the reason for this ... VIEW POST
Writing Our Own "Title of Liberty"
A pledge to hone and honor authentic and genuine sisterhood and community. (This post discusses general aspects regarding women in American and Western cultural traditions but can also include all women on a global basis.) My last two posts have discussed the complications and negative subversive behavior that often plague women's friendships (based on over 30 years worth of research from American sources). My next few posts will address various ways in which we can transcend and ... VIEW POST
The Inauthentic Niceness Syndrome
Pretending to be nice? "If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all," says Thumper rabbit in the movie, Bambi. Sounds nice enough, right? Well, not really. Unfortunately, we as a church and as a society tend to promote this philosophy as the Christian (and now secularist) ideal. "Be kind, always" has become a mantra. However, taken either literally or to extremes, this rule (along with its entire philosophy) can (and is) seeding and sowing another form of ... VIEW POST
The Hardest Thing About Being a Woman is Having Women Friends
(The title of this post comes from the movie, An American Quilt. This post is written in binary terms and focuses more on American and European women in general, but can also apply to women across the globe.) Got frenemies? Ok, I confess. I used to watch "The Real Housewives of New York City." My husband caught me sneaking a peek and sat down to watch with me. Within five minutes he proclaimed, "Oh, c'mon ... this is so fake! Women aren't really that manipulative and catty." My ... VIEW POST
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"The Ten Virgins" by John Melhuish Strudwick